RIBBIT REPORT: Definitions that don’t matter

Here are some definitions that don’t matter.

What is a programming language?

It doesn’t matter.

• Javascript
• CSS
• HTML
• Scratch
• Assembly
• Cellpond

I don’t care if any of these are programming languages or not.

What is a cellular automata?

Who cares. This one matters even less. Not even worth a paragraph.

moving on

What is artificial intelligence?

Let’s all argue and nit-pick about what artificial intelligence is and isn’t.

Actually artificial intelligence isn’t actually intelligence. It’s actually artificial intelligence.

We’re trapped by definitions.

Actually artificial intelligence isn’t actually artificial intelligence. It’s actually artificial artificial intelligence.

We can’t even begin to discuss their negative-

Actually artificial intelligence isn’t actually artificial artificial intelligence. It’s actually fake intelligence.

I don’t care what-

Actually artificial intelligence isn’t actually. It’s actually artificial artificial artificial artificial-

What is artificial life?

Oh no not again-

What is a fractal?

You can keep zooming in, uncovering more and more detail, and you’ll never get to the end, no matter how far you go, there’ll always be one wanker, with a “well-actually”, pulling you up, on some bullshit point, that doesn’t apply, to your current situation, forcing you, to get stuck, before you’ve even-

What is art?

I couldn’t give a flying fu-

What is a woman?

Is a transphobic dog-whistle designed to get you stuck at the start.

What is a definition?

A definition is a tool
that we use to express ourselves
and communicate

Sometimes the definition is for other people
and sometimes it’s just for you

The definition that you use
tells us something about YOU

Not what you define

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